poetry for the problemed

My heart sinks into the floor an old routine Ive known before.

Hands that feel and eyes that roll, no one knows just quite the toll.

I need help, but familar hands do not grasp

in reach my arms flail and no one calls.

I fall, fall, fall, deep into this tiny crevis where no one is looking.

But though the window pains did show the ice that covered the milky snow

and the times I have had to let myself go.

Where to go now? I do not know, but being here with you,

time surely does slow.

I long to touch the palm of your hand, but know I will sink deeper into quicksand.

A feeling united, two in one, together I feel we have only begun.

Holes in brains, and holes in hearts, none explained like the way we park.

My throat is scratchy, my eyes stained black, the color of blue drips from my eyes

and onto you.

I become a stronger person when its all said and done because in the end all the girls just wanna have fun.

Social Behavior

I have to admit its hard looking back on my life to this point. I see a girl who was mindlessly existing in a world that she had no control over, a world that did not exist. I wonder where it all went wrong? I dont know exactly, but somewhere I got lost. Somewhere I lost the true meaning of friendship. I miss friendship. I miss honesty, if there ever was such a thing. I've been lied to my entire life, not knowing fact from fiction, not being able to distinguish reality from actuality. Good thing I am learning now, good thing I am growing, before its too late.

I am thankful to have an outlet here in Weed. I have found my inner peace and strength of mind. I am exploring the universe from my tiny dorm room and learning a whole lot about myself. I have never been in such a state of mind before. I know I am here for a reason, and it is to learn. School is going well, and I am learning alot of classic book material but learning on a social level needs to take place too....and Im trying.

The want to be socially desirable and acceptable is hard wired into our brains. We are born wanting to feel loved and accepted. Learning to love and accept yourself is an important part others learning to accept and love you. Being true to your soul and not only your person is important as well. Im having to accept myself and learn what my personal boundries are before I allow any one else to tred on me. Do not let the actions or words of others influence your attitudes and boundries. Be strong in who you are, and you will flourish.

The most important thing I am learning up in Weed, is WHO MY GOD IS. God is the all mighty, all powerful, all loving, all vengeful, and all forgiving creator of the Universe. God created everything for me and you. He wants to share forever with us, but will only take you if you believe in him. When you see no distinction between us and them or it and that and everything is whole, than we are all ONE and that is heaven. We are mistaken to think that Earth's comforts are better than heavens. It is all His will, and in the end, our soul will be free to be judged by Him.